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    December 20

    崽子的自白

          我是一个典型的崽子.因为我记不得痛苦.虽然这样我不会怀有对别人的深仇大恨,不会因为曾经的痛苦而留下生活的阴影,但仍然掩盖不了一些致命的坏处.每个人都会本能的让自己过的好的,于是在遇到难堪,尴尬,痛苦,之后就会启动机制自动过滤掉.所以很多人"无愧"一生,很多人"无悔"一生.白了,逃避了.我们总是不愿面对自己的缺陷和难堪.在这种意义上讲,我十分敬佩跟与父仇不共戴天的人周旋一生的复仇者,那是一种羡杀旁人的意志.
          相反,大多数人却在群骂复仇者,自以为宽容,自我感觉超脱.今天,我就想面对一下自我,因为不希望错过某些东西.
          我也是个爱自由的人.但我虚伪.一个酷爱自由的人不应该虚伪.我崇拜事实,但我心口不一.事实是不能与意念违背的.我还自私.不过我最看重的还是我的愚昧.最近我终于承认这样的事实,所以我最想就是渐渐减少它.我看事情特别的简单,在我眼里,我喜欢把事物都看成一样东西,只是因为我分不清.而天才们都善于把复杂的东西再复杂化,然后探讨那一丁点的领域的一丁点问题,在那里摆舞台.这就是所谓的高手的较量,意念的交锋,他们爱在那只有丁点的空间寻找快感.于是我发现我一辈子也达不到此般境地.我不是非要去到苏格拉底"我只知道我一无所知"那种彻底,只望能像罗素描述的"慢慢感到自己是多么无知"那样能察觉更多的意义.
          所有目的,都是,想过得更有趣.不错过有趣的美好.小时候是希望活得精彩,几年前想活的潇洒,结果想法又改变了.是的,不需要唯美,我比较喜欢唯冷,接近极限而达不到;不会像热,无法觊觎其穷点.
         

    Comments (3)

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    Sept. 9
    Picture of Anonymous
    Karen wrote:
    汗...最讨厌虚伪的人了...
    Dec. 21
    Picture of Anonymous
    Baggio再踢一场好吗 wrote:
    不是啊,我现在依然希望活的精彩啊(尽管在华工是不可能的),
    我一般都是崇拜事实,憧憬未来的。。。还有一点你错了,并不是所有的 天才都是不问题复杂化的,就象我,虽然很天才,但我看问题总是简单化的,这不,刚给人骗手机了,气死我了,先去WC再睡觉了
    Dec. 21

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